Why "The Coaching Habit" Makes You a Better Advisor
Corporate careers reward having the answer. Client work often rewards asking the right question first.
Most corporate managers were promoted for having answers. Someone brings a problem, you diagnose it, and you tell them what to do. Inside a company, that works.
As an outside advisor, the same habit can cost you. Jump to a solution in the first five minutes and there is a good chance you are solving the wrong problem.
The Coaching Habit is a short, practical book about slowing that reflex down. I will be upfront about the fit: Michael Bungay Stanier wrote it for managers coaching their own teams, so many examples involve direct reports. The questions translate well to client conversations.
The Habit Worth Breaking
Bungay Stanier's point is that most of us move to advice far too quickly. The first problem someone mentions is often not the real one, and answering it early sends the conversation in the wrong direction.
For an advisor there is a second cost. Every problem you take on in a first meeting becomes work you have to do. A few more questions at the start often shrink the job to the part that matters most.
The Seven Questions
The core of the book is seven questions:
- The Kickstart Question: "What's on your mind?"
- The AWE Question: "And what else?"
- The Focus Question: "What's the real challenge here for you?"
- The Foundation Question: "What do you want?"
- The Lazy Question: "How can I help?"
- The Strategic Question: "If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?"
- The Learning Question: "What was most useful for you?"
What This Looks Like for You
An illustration:
Picture a first conversation with a former colleague whose team keeps missing deadlines. The answer-first reflex is to offer a full process review.
Ask "What's the real challenge here for you?" and then "And what else?" a few times, and you may learn the actual issue is two managers who disagree about priorities.
That is a smaller and clearer piece of work, and it is the one the client actually needs.
The Lazy Question is useful too. Asking "How can I help?" makes the client say what they want from you, which is the first step toward a clear scope.
How It Fits With the Rest of This Section
Never Split the Difference helps with fees and terms. Crucial Conversations helps when the work gets tense. The Coaching Habit helps from the very first meeting, when the job is understanding the problem.
What I Like
It is short enough to read in an evening or two, and it is genuinely funny in places. The seven questions are easy to remember, which matters when you are in a real conversation.
Michael Bungay Stanier is the founder of Box of Crayons, a company that trains managers to coach.
What I Don't Like
Written for managers. Many examples involve direct reports and internal team dynamics, so some sections apply less to client work.
Light on depth. If you want detailed case studies, this will feel thin. For most busy readers, the brevity is a plus.
Habits are hard to change. Twenty years of answer-giving does not disappear after one read. Expect to practice.
The Bottom Line
This book will not teach you pricing or marketing. It will give you seven questions you can use in your next client conversation.
Start with two of them: "And what else?" and "What's the real challenge here for you?" Use them before you offer a single solution.
Get the Book
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier
View on AmazonNote: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. This is an affiliate link. I earn a small commission if you purchase through it at no additional cost to you. I only recommend products I genuinely believe provide value.
Start With Your Superpowers
Good questions work best when you know what you can help with. The free assessment identifies your three core professional superpowers.
Take the Assessment (Free)Calculate Your Freedom Number
Know what you can help with. Now find out how much monthly income you need it to produce. The calculator takes about five minutes.
Calculate Your GapFortune favors the bold. But fortune also favors those who ask one more question before they answer.
Scott Fulbright
Affiliate Disclosure
This page contains Amazon affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases made through these links at no additional cost to you.
I only recommend products I've personally used or thoroughly researched and believe provide genuine value for corporate professionals building Encore Income. Your trust matters more than any commission.
If you have questions about any recommendation, feel free to reach out.